Colorless
by The Alice Killer - Storm
Summary: Everyone has a soulmate or soulmates. You see in black and white until you see your soulmate for the first time. However, these rules forgot about something. What about blind people?


Riko's POV:

"Alright. Here we are. This is our new home." My mom said.

"It's… nice?" I offered.

"I'll guide you through it. I'm sure you'll be able to navigate it in no time." My mom replied as she led me into the house.

You see, I'm blind. I can't see anything. And it sucks. Because, in this reality, there's something called soulmates. You see in black and white until you find them, and then the world is supposed to bloom into color. It happens the first time you look at them.

This makes my life hell. I constantly have people fussing over me, asking if I've found my soulmate. I always say no, because they ask if I can see in color. I can't. I can't see at all. There's nothing.

The kids at my old school were horrible. They constantly teased me about it. I was always the weird kid. No one wanted to hang out with me. I know why. I guess I can't blame them.

We moved to give me a fresh start. My dad is out of the picture. He died a few years back. It's just me and my mom. It used to be a dog as well. Then, she ended up developing a seizure issue, so we gave her to someone. She used to be my guide dog. Now I just use a cane.

I can't bear to have another dog. It hurts too much. I'm really scared. What will the kids at my new school going to think of me? I doubt most of them even know what a cane like mine is used for.

"Get some rest. You got a big day ahead of you tomorrow." My mom left me in what was to be my new bedroom.

I felt around the room, trying to figure out where everything was. I found a door. I opened it and realized there was a balcony. I enjoyed the crisp night air. It was nice and quiet. It's definitely different than living in the city.

"Hello!" An unfamiliar voice called out.

I panicked. I am not ready to deal with people.

"H-hi?" I said as I tried to look in the direction I thought I heard the shout in.

"What's your name?" The girl asked me.

"Riko. And you are?" I replied.

"Chika! Nice to meet you!"

"Um, nice to meet you too." I said. This girl is very hyper.

"So, you just move in today?" Chika asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. We just got in about twenty minutes ago."

"I finally get a neighbor my age!" Chika said.

"Oh. You're 16?" I asked.

"Yep." Chika said.

"That's nice to know." I said.

"So, can you see in color?" Chika asked me.

"No." I said simply.

"Aw… you're missing out. It's so pretty." Chika replied.

"Chika…" I sighed, "I'm blind."

"What?" Chika suddenly dropped in hyperness.

"I'm blind. I can't see at all." I repeated, "So, I can't see anything. I can't even see in black and white."

"Oh… I'm sorry…"

"It's fine." I said, "Um, so… goodnight?"

"Yeah, goodnight."

I walked back into my room. I struggled to figure out how to close the door again. Eventually, I got it closed. I found my bed. I laid down in it and tried to sleep.

…

I woke to the alarm on my phone. I turned it off and got up. I found my school uniform and put it on. I brushed my hair and then went downstairs.

"Morning, Riko. Did you sleep well?" My mom asked me from what I figured out was the kitchen.

"Yeah. So, how am I getting to school?" I asked.

"There's a girl next door who goes to the school. I've managed to ask her parents if she could take you there. I didn't say you were blind." My mom replied.

"I told her. We spoke on the balcony last night." I said.

"Well, that makes this easier then. I'll lead you to the door." My mom grabbed my hand.

I was handed my bag and cane. My mom gave me a lunch box and a piece of toast for breakfast. She let me sleep in late, so I don't have enough time to eat at home. The door was opened.

"Morning! My name's Chika."

"Nice to meet you. I've been told you already met my daughter." My mom said.

"Yep. I'll show her to school." Chika said.

"Thank you. Have fun now, Riko." My mom pushed me toward the outside.

Chika took my hand and started leading me to school. We walked in silence for a while. Should I say something?

"You can see in color?" I asked.

"Yeah. I met my soulmate this school year. Don't know how we're soulmates. We are complete opposites." Chika told me.

"Well, I've heard that no one ever has any issues with their soulmates." I replied.

"Yeah…but, what about those who end up with more than one?" Chika asked.

"Polyamorous people exist, you know." I told her.

"Oh… right. Forgot about that." Chika laughed nervously.

"So, are you guys dating or anything?" I asked.

"No. Her family is really strict. She hasn't told them she can see in color. They want her to marry a boy for business reasons." Chika said.

"Oh… one of those types… you really got a stuck-up one, huh?"

"She's not bad. She just needs to be broken out of her shell, is all. She seems really nice to people she cares about." Chika replied.

"Are there any other friends of yours that can see in color?" I asked.

"Yeah. There's another one. She's been able to since she was a child. I'm jealous." Chika said. I can imagine her pouting at that.

"You know, someone asked me if I hope that I'll see in color one day. I told them I'd be content with just seeing in black and white. I just want my sight back." I said.

"You weren't born blind?" Chika asked.

"No. I lost my vision due to a genetic disorder when I was about five." I replied.

"Hmm…" Chika hummed, "Welp, we're at school!"

"You'll guide me everywhere, right?" I asked.

"Of course. I'd never leave you. That would be really mean." Chika promised.

A bell sounded. I guess that means it's time for class.

"I'll show you to the classroom." Chika said and started leading me inside the school.

We made it with little issue. Chika was actually really good. She kept me from bumping into anyone. I'm actually impressed. No one cares that much about guiding me. They just tug me along and let people try and dodge me.

"Morning, Chika!"

"Morning, Yō!" Chika said.

I guess this is a friend of Chika's. Chika helped me find a seat. She started talking to Yō. I couldn't really hear them. All I know is that Chika is introducing me. She hasn't mentioned that I'm blind. I wonder how long it'll take before Yō notices?

…

"Riko, do you mind if Yō joins us for lunch?" Chika asked me.

"Not at all." I replied.

"Awesome!" Yō said.

Chick led me out to where we would eat. I nervously sat down and pulled out my lunch. Chika excused herself to go to the bathroom. It's just me and Yō. Yō still hasn't learned I'm blind. This could go very wrong.

"Um… Riko?" Yō asked.

"Yes?" I replied, looking at where her voice came from.

"W-when I first looked at you… I saw in color… did you as well?" Yō stammered.

I froze up. Fuck. This is not good. This is the one thing I never wanted to happen. What do I say? What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't know what to do.

"Y-Yeah." I lied, "I did as well."

"You… you didn't…" Yō sounded upset. She caught onto my lie. Am I really that bad of lier?

"Y-Yō… um, I… I'm blind." I quickly stammered out.

"You're… blind?" Yō sounded confused.

I nodded, "Yes, I'm blind. I can't see anything. So, I didn't see in color, because I can't see you."

"B-but… But what am I supposed to do? I see in color now, because of you… and you don't…" Yō sounded lost.

"Yō, remember. The soulmates always are the same for everyone. So, that means I would see in color if I could see." I tried my best to reassure her.

"That… that's right! We are soulmates then!" Yō suddenly sounded a lot happier.

"Yeah. Unless the rules have suddenly changed, then we are." I nodded.

"So… do you wanna hang out after school? Get to know each other better?" Yō asked.

"Sure. That sounds like fun." I smiled.

"I'm back~" Chika sung as she plopped down beside me with a thud.

"You took a while." Yō commented.

"There were a lot of girls waiting…" Chika sighed, "I wasn't going halfway across the school so I waited as well."

"I think the extra exercise wouldn't hurt."

"Hey!"

…

After school, Yō took me to a park. We sat down on the grass. There seemed to be a group of younger kids at the park. They were yelling a lot.

"Yō, can you tell me what you look like?" I asked.

"Huh? Um, sure. I can try." Yō replied, seeming a bit flustered by the question.

"I can sometimes get an image in my head, since at one point I had vision." I said.

"But, it would be black and white, right?" Yō asked.

I shook my head, "No. I never saw in black and white."

"What? That… that doesn't make sense…" Yō seemed dumbfounded by the answer.

"The doctor said because of my disorder, the soulmate thing didn't seem to catch on to me." I said.

"So, does that mean you might not be my soulmate?" Yō sounded crushed.

"No. Like I said, the soulmates all see the same. If you saw color from me, that means we are soulmates. That doesn't change just because I'm an exception to the rules." I quickly said.

"I can't help but wonder if you aren't…" Yō sighed, "I'm so scared...I don't want to be deceived."

"That won't happen, Yō. I promise it won't." I said firmly.

Yō sounded upset. I think she might be crying. What do I do? It's obvious she's very hopeful for a soulmate. I wonder why? Did something happen to her? Will she tell me if I ask?

"You want a hug?" I offered and held out my arms. It's the best I can do at the moment.

Yō accepted my offering and buried herself into my chest. She was sobbing. I brushed her hair with one of my hands. I don't really know why to do. I know I can't just leave her like this. She needs me. In more ways than one.

"Yō, I swear I'm not going to hurt you. I can tell something happened in the past. It's made you wary of me. I'm not going to repeat whatever that was, I swear." I said.

"I… I was tricked…" Yō sniffled, "Someone lied and said they saw in color when looking at me… they… they used me… I just, I don't want that ever again…"

"Yō, sweetie, you're the one seeing in color. If anything, I should be the one worried about being deceived." I whispered calmly.

"Y-Yeah… But… but you can still hurt me…" Yō whispered back, "Some soulmates do fight, but they always make up…"

"What can I do to make you believe I won't hurt you?" I asked.

"If you hurt me, I'm allowed to punch you in the face as hard as I want." Yō said.

"Deal." I replied.

"Riko… would your parents approve of you dating a girl?" Yō asked quietly.

"I don't know. It never came up in a conversation." I shrugged.

How would mom react? I feel like she'd be happy for me. She is always so worried that I won't make any friends because I'm blind. I bet she'd be overjoyed to know if I found love. Dad probably wouldn't. But, he doesn't matter. He's not here.

"Mine are okay with it…" Yō said.

"Is this your way of asking me out?" I questioned.

"M-maybe?" Yō squeaked.

"Well, while I'm flattered, I think we should get to know each other better first." I said.

"F-fair enough." Yō stammered. I bet she's really embarrassed.

"I wish I could see you. I bet you're really adorable." I said, "Now, will you describe yourself to me?"

"Sure."

…

Yō and I had started hanging out a lot. I really like her. But, I feel like it's only as a friend still. I don't feel like I'm romantically attracted to her. I know she probably is.

I wish my feelings would change. I want to make Yō happy. I know she's really hoping I'll say I want to date her. I wish that was true. I just can't feel those feelings I need.

It was another time we were meeting. Chika had asked us to help with a project. So, we were gathered in her room. I wasn't really helping. I just sat there and listened as the two of them talked.

"Did you hear that Kanan's soulmate has come back? I think she said her name was Mari." I heard Chika whisper.

"Yeah. I bet she's really happy." Yō replied.

I could hear a bitter note as she spoke. Yō was very much doing so on purpose. She wanted to date me already. I don't want to date her if I don't feel the same way. It just feels wrong.

"So, have you and Dia made any progress?" Yō asked.

"A little. We're secretly going out now." Chika said, "And apparently her sister actually has two soulmates. I'm not sure if they've started anything yet."

"Hmm…" I hummed. Seems like everyone they know has a soulmate.

"So, have you two started anything?" Chika asked.

"No. Not yet." Yō replied.

"I don't think rushing into any sort of relationship is a wise thing to do." I said.

"Yeah… a lot of people do it that way." Chika said.

"Is it like that in the other reality? The one where they don't have soulmates?" Yō asked.

"Yes. They spend years making friends and falling in love. They have to use their instincts to figure out if the person loves them back." I nodded.

"Isn't that kinda what you're doing?" Yō asked, "Since you can't see."

"Yeah. I know that soulmates are correct, but I'm hesitant since I can't see the proof for myself." I said.

"I can understand that." Chika said, "I'd probably be the same way. If I couldn't have proof, I'd be hesitant to believe it as well."

I don't think Yō is happy with that answer. She would've wanted Chika to say the opposite. I'm hurting her, aren't I? I'm denying her the one thing she so desperately wants.

…

When I got home, I called for my mom. She said she was in the kitchen. I went there.

"What's up, Riko?" My mom asked.

"Mom, I have a soulmate." I said.

"You do?" My mom seemed surprised.

"Yeah. She looked at me and saw in color."

"Are you sure she wasn't lying?" My mom asked.

"She isn't. I can tell." I replied, "She was tricked before. She's really wary."

"Well, what do you think of her?" My mom asked.

"She's really nice. But, I only like her as a friend… she wants us to date. I feel bad. She was so happy to find out we were soulmates and now I'm not what she wanted." I sighed.

"I'm sure she'll come to understand."

"I hope so… I feel like I'm hurting her."

"You probably are. She needs to learn that you aren't going to put her feelings above yours." My mom said.

I went to my room after that. I sunk down onto my bed. I grabbed my headphones and plugged them into my phone. I don't want my mom hearing anything.

I went onto my messaging app and opened up Yō's profile. I hesitated. Should I? I don't know. What would I even talk to her about?

I decided to send one thing to try and make her happy:

_I love you_

…

I woke the next morning to find that Yō had sent me a lot of texts. I had tried to stay awake for her response, but I guess I was too tired to. I grabbed my headphones and plugged them in. I still don't want mom hearing what Yō said.

_I love you too! Does this mean you'll finally go out with me?_

She wants us to date… of course. She's been waiting for this moment. Should I answer her? Should I say yes? Even if I don't exactly feel that way?

Why did I send her that? What was I thinking? Now what am I going to do if she realizes I don't feel that way? Did I fuck up?

Calm down, Riko… you're okay. You can do this. Maybe a relationship with her won't be too bad? She seems really nice. I think she'll respect my boundaries.

_Yes. That means I'll date you._

It didn't take Yō very long to respond to me. I hope she wasn't waiting for me to answer. I kept her waiting for so long. I feel kind of bad. I should've tried harder to stay awake.

_Yay! So, could we maybe go on a date today? Unless you planned anything._

I couldn't help but smile. She seems so happy. I guess that made her day. It is Saturday. I don't think I have anything else going on today. I think I can go on a date with her.

_Sure. What time?_

It didn't take too long for her to answer. She seemed to be waiting for me. It was less than a minute after I sent my text that she answered me.

_How about 11?_

I checked what time it was. It was only 9 at the moment. I replied that 11 was fine. I got out of my bed and went to get a shower. I don't want to ruin this. I've never been on a date before. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

After I showered, I went to find my mom. She was watching TV. I heated up the breakfast she had made me.

"Mom, is it okay if I go and hang out with a friend today?" I asked.

"Of course. Who is this friend?" My mom asked.

"Her name is Yō. Did I ever introduce her to you?" I replied.

"I don't believe so." She replied.

"Oh. Well, you'll get to meet her today."

"She's just a friend?" My mom questioned.

Is she on to me? Did I say something wrong? Why is she thinking that? I'm not ready to tell her.

"Um…" I didn't know what to say.

"Is this girl the one who is apparently your soulmate?" My mom asked.

I nodded, "Yes, she is."

"And what are you planning to do today?"

"We haven't decided yet. We're just going to hang out. I promise that's all." I said.

Does she really think I'd do something like that? I'm not going to do anything dirty with Yō. For Heaven's sake, we technically started dating today. That would really be rushing it if I did that.

"It better be." My mom warned.

I pouted. She really thinks I'm going to do something like that. I can't believe her. I think I might ask Yō if we can go and hang out outside of the house instead. I don't want to be around mom if she thinks that. Why doesn't she trust me?

After a while, the doorbell rang. I guess Yō is here. I went and answered it.

"Hey, Riko!" It was Yō.

"Hey. Um, so… I was thinking we could go and hang out somewhere outside." I said, "I don't want to be cramped up in a room."

"That sounds like a nice idea. Why don't we go and visit the shrine?" Yō replied.

"Sure." I agreed.

So, that's what we did. We set off to the shrine. Yō and I were walking together, with me linking my arm with hers. We weren't holding hands, since that wasn't a very good way to guide me. I wonder if people are looking at us weird.

It didn't take long before we had arrived. It was pretty quiet. All I could hear were birds and a slight rustle from the leaves. We stood in place for a moment.

"You wanna sit?" Yō asked.

"Sure." I nodded.

Yō led me to a place where we could sit. We sat in silence for a bit. It felt a little awkward. Neither of us could seem to find the right way to start a conversation. It feels weird.

"Do you really love me…?" Yō whispered.

I should have seen that coming. Of course she'd be questioning it. Just yesterday I had said I wasn't going to rush into anything and now here we are. What should I say?

"Yes." I said. I can't think of anything else to say.

"Can I kiss you?" Yō asked shyly.

I bet she's probably blushing a lot. I bet I am as well. So, do I want her to kiss me? I've never kissed another girl before besides my mom. It can't be that hard to do, right?

"Where?" I asked her.

"Um… on the lips?" Yō replied. There was a small hint of a childish tone in her voice. I wanted to chuckle, but I held back.

"One kiss." I said, "I'd rather not kiss in public."

"Okay!" Yō said happily.

It wasn't too long before I could feel her breath on my face. I nervously moved in closer. Yō took the lead and connected out lips. It was a very quick kiss. We pulled away. I bet we're both bright red. That was kind of awkward.

Yō let out a startled noise and jumped up, "C-Chika!"

Chika is here? How much did she see?

"Mou~ why'd you leave me out! I thought you'd tell me something like this!" Chika whined.

"You don't need to know everything instantly. We would've told you by the end of the day." Yō defended.

"Fine… So, you two on a date?"

"Yep. Now, if you wouldn't mind…"

"I have to go anyway. I'm supposed to be helping set up for a festival. I offered to help because I'd be working with Dia, but I didn't realize how much work I'd be doing…" Chika sighed.

"You complain a lot." I stated.

"Hey!" Chika yelled.

"It's true. Anything that requires a little extra work makes you complain." Yō said.

"I'm leaving." Chika huffed.

Yō started laughing. Chika yelled at her. Yō sat down beside me again. I moved my hand and locked it with one of hers. Maybe I do love her.

"Yō, I love you." I whispered as I rested my head against her shoulder.

"I love you too." Yō replied.

Maybe this isn't so bad? I think I can live with this. I had thought I'd never find love. I was proven wrong.


End file.
